Chapter 7 Red Car

ISABELLA

I wake to an empty apartment.

The sunlight beams through the windows of our living room, reminding me I forgot to close the blinds. Then again, I rarely sleep in the living room.

I sit up and clutch the blanket I don’t recall draping over myself. Usually, I enjoy quiet mornings, but right now the silence—just like my memory of last night—is deafeningly painful. I take a moment to gather my thoughts.

“Fuck.” I run my hands over my face. When my eyes open, I notice a sticky note sitting on the coffee table. I hesitantly reach for it. “Hope you got enough sleep and are feeling better, here’s my number if you need anything. Please call – Miles.”

I reread Miles’ note repeatedly. Then the door opens. Addy waltzes inside, attempting to be quiet, but when she sees me sitting on the couch, her face falls. “Oh my God, are you okay?” She drops her bag and dashes toward me. Damn, I must look exactly how I feel.

“I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me. What happened?” She slinks an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into her embrace.

“Jake… I don’t know. He visited and things got intense.”

She tugs at my shoulders, so we’re face to face. “What? He was here?”

I look down at my hands, blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. Addy gets the hint and pulls me even tighter into her embrace while rubbing my back. She gives me a moment to think. I tell her everything that happened, and she listens intently.

She was surprised Miles intervened, but thankful.

“How about we stay home today?”

I shake my head. “No, I want to do everything to take my mind off of what happened. Even if that means sitting through lectures.”

“Okay, but we are reporting it to the school authorities, just so they know what happened.”

I want to say no because I’d rather forget about the incident than speak up. I don’t want to make a big deal about it, but assault isn’t something to be taken lightly. And me speaking up isn’t the issue; the issue is that someone put their hands on me without my consent, and I need to let someone know.

So, Addy gives me some space to wash up, and then we head to the administrative building. The school follows precautions, asking a lot of questions. After a lengthy talk, I’m given information about some helpful groups and counselors to talk to, and the opportunity to file a restraining order. It felt great to tell someone of authority.

“You call me if you need anything, okay?” Addy hugs me before we part ways.

“I will.”

I amble to the library to continue my essay. When I get there, I go to the same spot as always, the back corner by the window. I take my books and computer out and work, but my peace doesn’t last long.

Miles is standing in front of me.

“Hi Darlin’, may I sit?” he questions, running his fingers through his perfectly messy brown hair. I nod.

After he gets situated across from me, he sighs. “How are you?”

I fake a smile. “Alright.”

“Are you lying to me?” he asks, raising his eyebrows.

“How do you think I am?”

He taps the table rhythmically before saying, “I know you’re not okay, that’s why you’re wearing long sleeves and your eyes are puffy.” I raise my eyebrows, slightly offended, yet he continues. “But I know a special remedy to make someone feel better.”

“Being in the presence of me,” he says, leaning forward, and I roll my eyes.

“I’m just kidding, come on, follow me.” Standing up, he extends his hand, wanting me to follow. He wants me to go somewhere with him. Right now? I don’t get up but continue staring, contemplating whether it’s a bad idea.

“Bell, trust me.” He tilts his head, making a pouty face.

I get up. “Lead the way, Cunningham.”

We walk out to the parking lot and he opens the passenger door for me before climbing into his side.

“Can I turn on the radio?” I ask. He tells me to go right ahead, and I click a couple of buttons, and soon enough “Just like Heaven” by The Cure is flowing out of the speakers. I tap my foot to the beat.

Amidst the music, I hear a quieter voice mumbling. That’s definitely not coming from the recording. Is Miles singing? I peer at him out of my peripheral vision and see his lips moving to the song. He is singing along to The Cure.

I bite my lip, trying to hold back laughter, but it doesn’t work. When he notices, his head whirls at me in horror, realizing I have caught him. “Shit, you saw that?” His cheeks turn crimson. Wow, embarrassment is an unfamiliar look on him, and it looks good.

I laugh out loud even harder. “Yes, I did.”

His embarrassment slowly fades, morphing into mischief. Suddenly, he begins a scream-singing off the top of his lungs.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so off-key.” I shake my head.

“Like you could do any better!”

“Yeah, mhm.” I snort as we pull into Rosie’s parking lot.

“Admit it,” he says, turning the car off. “You love my singing.”

“No, not at all. But I love coffee.”

We sit with our freshly made drinks and a plate of macaroons. It feels strange sitting in my usual booth, but with Miles across from me. He rearranges the treats on the plate, then spins them so the yellow one faces me. “I got a variety of them, but we don’t know the flavors.” I look at him, still confused. “So before we pick one up, we guess what flavor it is, and whoever guesses right wins.”

I notice how excited he is to play, and it warms my heart. I’ve only ever known Miles as cold and egotistical, but something about this moment changes my perception. Part of me hopes this isn’t a pity friendship. And if it is, at least both of us won’t resent each other anymore.

“Bell, you pick first.” He pushes the plate toward me. I pick a purple one, he picks yellow. I twirl it around in my fingers and then guess blueberry.

He stares at his macaroon. “Lemon.”

We bite into them on the count of three, and his mouth curls upward instantly. “Mine is lemon.”

I roll my eyes. “Mine is grape.”

“I win!” He laughs in my face.

“Too bad you’re bluffing.”

He cocks an eyebrow, holding the bitten treat out, urging me to bite it. “Want to bet?”

Without breaking our eye contact, I lean in and bite into his macaroon. The lemon flavor coats my mouth, and I sigh dramatically. He eats the rest.

“Am I bluffing now, Darlin’?”

Before I can reply, my phone buzzes in my pocket, and I dig it out. I almost choke on my saliva when I see Jake’s name. From Miles’ worried expression, I know the color has drained from my face. I didn’t think Jake would have the guts to call after what he did.

I hold up my phone, looking toward Miles for an answer. He nods his head towards the phone. “Answer it.”

I try to convince myself it’s just a phone call. He can’t hurt me. I hesitate but accept.

“Isabella.” Jake’s voice sounds into my ear, and my stomach turns over.

“What do you want?”

It’s quiet for a moment.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am for last night.” He clears his throat. “If you are willing, can we meet up?”

“I don’t think that’s a smart idea.”

“I always respected your decision about waiting.” His comment is quiet but apparent.

“But Jake, respecting my decision to wait, then having sex with other people doesn’t make much sense. If anything, your lack of respect was appalling.”

He exhales. “How long was I supposed to wait for?”

“If you had any genuine feelings for me, waiting wouldn’t have been an issue. Just because we were dating doesn’t mean I’m obligated to have sex with you,” I snap. “Anyway, I’m not in the wrong here. You’re the one who cheated on me, multiple times may I add. You did this to us.”

I see the corner of Miles’ mouth lift, and he nods. It gives me a boost of confidence knowing he thinks I’m doing a good job. It shouldn’t have, but it did.

“But why? Why did you want to wait?”

My voice lowers to a whisper, and as if the devil himself took over my body, I say something I never thought I’d say. “If you called me to get an answer about why I didn’t want to fuck you because me not wanting to is not a good enough answer, this might satisfy you. Maybe it’s because deep down, I always had a feeling that you were an asshole. So honestly, Jake, maybe we’re both in the wrong here. I should have listened to my gut and ended things between us sooner.”

“Wow, Isabella,” he scoffs. “That was a super low blow.”

“No, last night was a low blow when you thought you could show up here and try to force yourself on me so I would take you back.”

Silence.

“Anyway, my bad for hurting your feelings.” I pull the phone away from my ear and end the call. And as if that’s not enough, I power off my phone and shove it in my purse.

This surge of anger that’s pulsing through my veins feels like a fire that needs to be expelled. Just as I’m about to stand up, I notice Miles staring at me wide-eyed. Suddenly, my fire sizzles and a wave of embarrassment hits me. “I’m sorry you heard that,” I say.

He leans back in the booth, folding his arms with a slight grin. “No need to apologize. I wasn’t expecting that. I think you got your point across well. I honestly felt like I was in trouble too.”

“Good.” Short laughter bubbles out of me as I fold my arms, mimicking him. “I have never felt so angry before.”

“Anger as in you need to break something?”

“Are you offering?” I raise my eyebrow.

“Not any of me.” He shakes his head vigorously. “I have something else in mind.”

He motions to the door. I have no idea what idea he has up his sleeve, but I follow him to his car without question, which is something I never thought I’d do. But if he knows a method to relieve my anger, I will gladly follow.

When he starts his car, “Just like Heaven” resumes where it left off, and I can’t help but smile. “Are you going to sing this time?”

He narrows his eyes and puts the car in reverse. “Don’t push it, Darlin’.”

About fifteen minutes later, we arrive in a part of town I’ve never ventured into. From the looks of it, I know why I haven’t. There is trash scattered about, leading to a large junkyard.

“Miles, are we allowed to be here?”

“Don’t question, just walk.”

I anxiously follow suit. He meanders the place like he’s been here more than once. And every couple of minutes he looks over his shoulder, making sure I’m still behind him.

He jumps down from a ledge in between broken cars and instantly turns around, reaching up for me. I hesitate, staring down. “You won’t be able to break things if I don’t help you down, Bell.” He shakes his arms at me. His stupid brown eyes silently pleading for me to follow.

“I’m heavy.”

“You’re full of shit.” He wiggles his fingers this time. Dramatically, I roll my eyes and reach outward, crouching down. He inches closer and his fingers grip my hips, sliding up the sides of my body as he hoists me into the air with ease.

I hold my breath. I shouldn’t be freaking out inside, he only helped me down. Calm. Down.

“See? Light as a feather.” He sets me in front of him and points forward. “Now walk that way toward the red car.”

I oblige, taking the lead. I did not expect today to end up this way. Actually, a lot of things have caught me off guard lately. Jake—for instance—is constantly lingering in the back of my mind, causing destruction. And now Miles is doing the same thing, except in person.

“Are we going to get caught? Because Miles, if we get caught by the police for trespassing it could go on our record and we could lose clinical time…”

“Chill.” He laughs, grabbing what looks to be a metal pipe. “Okay, this is what you’re going to do. Take this pipe and hold it like a baseball bat. I’m not going to explain how, you seem like you’ve held a baseball bat before.”

I nod, even though it’s been years.

“Then you swing.” In one swift motion, his hands clench the pipe. He widens his stance and takes out the dilapidated side mirror. The sound of glass shattering echoes around us while the shards fall in response.

“Get the idea?” His voice breaks me out of my daze, and I feel my face relax from smiling too hard.

I nod eagerly, and he passes me the make-shift baseball bat. Doing exactly as he did, I clench the pipe and widen my stance. I pick a spot on the car and my body does the rest. I swing as hard as I can, shattering the windshield.

Miles bellows behind me like a wild jungle boy. I can’t stop laughing.

“How’d that feel?”

“It felt good,” I admit, releasing a pent-up breath.

When I hold the pipe out for him to take, he shakes his head and leans against the door to a different broken car. “Hey, it’s all yours now.”

I look down at my hand and then aim for the hood of the car, giving it all the muscle I have.