Chapter 8 Forgetting

ISABELLA

“Where have you been?” Addy asks as I enter our apartment. She turns around on the island stool, her homework splayed on the table in front of her. “You look dirty, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just a lot has happened, like usual.”

That catches her attention. She closes her books, eyeing me suspiciously. “Good or bad?”

“Well, Jake called me.” I fill her in on our conversation, leaving out all things Miles.

I know I’ll regret it in the long run, but I want to keep what happened today to myself. It’s the only thing that has made me feel better, and I want to bask in these feelings for a little longer, alone.

“Is that it? You seem like you’re hiding something… like where you’ve been for the past three hours.”

I take a swig of my water bottle and shrug my shoulders. “Studying and doing my psych essay.”

Trying to ignore her, I dig my phone out of my purse and power it on. I notice along with my missed calls from Addy, I have one from my sister Sierra, so I click on her contact to call back. “Hey, thanks for answering earlier!” Her voice booms into my ear. “I’m on my way to visit you right now.”

My brows furrow. “Hi and what? Is mom driving you or something?”

“You know I have my license, right?”

“Seriously? When the hell did that happen?”

“Piss off, I’m hanging up so I can drive, love you!”

“Be safe, love you too.” I make a kissing sound into the phone and hang up. Excitement bubbles through me at the thought of seeing my sister. I didn’t think I would miss her as much as I do, but she is my best friend. Of course, I miss her.

Addy has a devious look written on her face. “Sierra’s coming? Oh, we’re taking her to a party.”

“Oh hell no, she’s too young.”

“Says who? So are we.”

I tell her no again and open my backpack to continue the work Miles interrupted. An hour later, I’m interrupted again by a loud banging on the door. Warmth floods my veins and I eagerly dash to the door to see my sister.

I tear the door open and squealing sounds ensue. She drops her bags and pulls me into a hug. We rock back and forth. “Look at you, driving here by yourself.”

“Oh, stop.” She rolls her eyes.

We catch up for a moment, then Addy walks in to greet her. While they converse, I take Sierra’s bags to my bedroom, and when I return, they are both batting their eyelashes at me. Like a mother would, I put my hand on my hip. “What are you up to?” I ask.

“Let’s go to the party tomorrow, it will be so fun!” Sierra pleads while Addy mouths ‘come on.’

“Addy, I told you no! I’m not taking my little sister to a college party.”

Sierra purses her lips. “I’m not ten, plus we never get to have fun together.”

“Yeah, come on Bell,” Addy butts in, but I glower at her and she quickly throws her hands up in defense.

Sierra sighs and takes my hands. “You need to have fun B, you cannot sit in this apartment and cry anymore. If you keep dwelling over Jake, you’ll never be able to move on.”

I raise my eyebrow. “Who are you? Mom?”

The corners of her mouth slowly curl up. “Is that a yes?”

I exhale dramatically. “Fine, yeah, whatever.”

She and Addy freak out, I shout, and I point to Sierra. “The maximum amount of drinks you can have is none and no sex.”

They don’t hear me, but I still say, “Now we need to get going or I’ll miss my gig.”

✤

The next day when my class is over, I drive straight to The Wild Heart. Simone’s other performer couldn’t make it, and she said she’d pay extra if I filled in. So, I sang for an hour, took a break, then played jazz music for another half hour. Although I’m exhausted, I’m still getting ready for the party tonight.

Addy and Sierra shimmy into their outfits while I try to pick one out. They’re blaring music at the highest volume and jumping around. I’m sure the neighbors are ready to call our tenant for the noise. I’m also not sure how I became the boring friend in the group, but it seems I have.

“Are you going to flirt tonight?” Addy asks, handing me a black mini-skirt.

“I’ll try, but who knows how that will go.”

Sierra joins me on the bed. “I think if you take a couple of shots, it’ll help.”

A short chuckle ripples out of me. This is the first opportunity I’ve had to let loose since everything occurred, so I try to push my negative emotions aside and have fun. I don’t want to be the boring friend, and I sure as hell don’t want tonight to be a bust.

Before we leave, I open our fridge and gulp the few ounces of wine left in the bottle. It’s not enough to affect me, but it will give me a jump start for the evening.

Eventually, we pull up to a house off-campus. People are stumbling in and out, and you can hear the faint drone of music coming from inside. We push our way inside, through the mass of dancing people.

Addy and Sierra head for the living room where people are dancing, but I stop in the kitchen for a drink first. All they have are coolers full of beer, but as long as it will get me drunk, it’ll do. I open one and try chugging to the best of my abilities, even though the foam almost causes me to vomit.

When I’m done, I crush the can, and my eyes drift toward two guys doing shots by the sink. I wipe my mouth and take a deep breath. They notice me walking over almost immediately, which causes my back to shoot upright, rectifying my posture.

“Can I have a shot?” I scream over the music.

They look at each other, then reach for an unopened bottle of vodka on the counter. I graciously take it and unscrew the cap. Instinctively, I smell the alcohol, which causes me to grimace. They tell me just to drink straight from the bottle, so I do.

I pull the bottle away from my lips, covering my mouth to cough as the liquid burns my throat. But I know this will get me drunk, so I take two more swigs for good measure. My stomach feels like it’s been turned inside out.

“Bell! What the hell are you doing?” Addy’s voice booms over the music. I turn around and see her staring wide-eyed. She takes the bottle from my hand and sets it down, then grabs my arm and drags me toward the living room.

“Bell, did you forget you are the biggest lightweight?”

I shake my head, already dizzy. “No, that’s not true! I’m just having fun.”

I throw my hands up in the air, swaying my hips to the beat of the song. All I can smell is alcohol and sweat radiating off of the surrounding students. Sierra eyes me suspiciously, and mouths something but I can’t hear what she’s saying so I close my eyes.

There isn’t a thought in my mind, and it feels liberating.

Suddenly, hands wrap around my waist. My eyes fly open, but I relax when their front presses against my back. I automatically grind into whoever is behind me, not caring who it could be. This is my night, and I’m going to have fun.

I throw my hands up and wrap them around the back of the stranger’s neck. They lean closer until their lips touch the back of my ear. “I didn’t know you could dance so well, Darlin’.”

I stop moving, and my hands fall to my sides. Slowly, I turn around and hold onto their chest to keep myself steady. With beady eyes, I look up at Miles who is already staring down at me, stoically.

“Miles,” I say, albeit he probably can’t hear me.

He holds the small of my back and sways us back and forth. “Hi, Bell.” He grins, pulling me closer so our bodies are firmly against each other. I feel electricity jolt from my head down to my feet, and I curl my toes in my shoes.

“What are you doing here?” I ask without thinking and internally scold myself at how stupid it sounds.

“I came to have fun with my friends, what are you doing here?”

I stare at him with a blank expression. “I came here to forget,” I say, and his smile dwindles at those five words.

“Yesterday didn’t do the job?”

“It helped, but it wasn’t enough.”

“Then try forgetting right now.” He grabs my hands, prying them away from his warm chest, and turns me back around. His arms drape over my shoulders and we dance. My mind is ridden with thoughts again. Thoughts of how good his hands feel roaming my body, and how his nose keeps brushing the back of my hair.

But everything is spinning, and I am using every ounce of strength to keep myself from vomiting. Yet the longer he holds me, the dizzier I get. I need to get away from him fast. I pull myself away, telling him I have to go. But the moment I step away, I realize he was the one keeping me upright because my face comes in contact with the floor.

“Jesus, Bell.” Miles helps me up, I grip his arms for support. I could use a little of Jesus right about now. He puts his arm around my waist, guiding me to a chair in a less crowded room. He scurries around and returns with water.

“You’re here with your sister and Addy, right?”

“H-how’d you know?”

“I chatted with them earlier. What’s your sister’s name?”

I stare at him, then say, “It’s Sierra.” And graciously chug the cool liquid. He pulls his phone out and I try to listen to his conversation but feel myself growing disoriented by the second. I close my eyes in an attempt to collect myself, but nothing seems to work.

Before I can say anything, I’m out.