CALYPSO.3

“You okay?” Illoni asks me.

“I don’t know. I feel extremely nauseous right now” I take a deep breath.

“Girl you been saying that all week. Why you keep coming in?” she asks, setting the box of glue on the counter.

“Cause it passes by. It only lasts a few hours, so I’m not missing a whole day of work” I push my hair out of my face.

“I have a test, you wanna take it?” she whispers.

Ignoring that stupid ass question, I turn around and go to the classroom closet. I’m not pregnant. I only had sex one time, so I can’t be right.?

I open the closet and pull the rope out of the basket. We’re getting the kids ready to go to the petting zoo set up outside of the playground. Today it’s just Shara, Illoni, and I. Aalisha is out sick which leaves me in charge of the classroom.

I gagged, but quickly swallowed what was coming up. Holding the rope out, I shook my head. Shara took the rope and guided me to the bathroom.

“Line up,” Shara tells Kiya, who’s hiding behind the desk.

I gag again and cover my mouth. Running into the kid’s bathroom, I rush to the toilet. I remove my hand and the smell of shit hits my nose. Throwing up in the toilet, I squat down so I’m closer to the toilet.

“You haven’t even eaten yet” Shara pulls my hair back.

“She okay?”

“Dreamy okay?” I hear one of the kids ask. Just from the soft and sweet voice, I know exactly who it is.

“Ew that nasty” Elijah yells.

“Loni” Shara yells in my ear.

“Elijah and Camila, get out the bathroom” Illoni yells.

All this yelling isn’t making me feel any better. It’s just annoying me and the smell of shit just making my stomach twist and turn. I grab the toilet paper and as I rip a piece off, I gag.

“But dreamy-” Camila pouts.

“I’m fine” I manage to get out.

“Okay”

“Take them, ima come out in a little. Have Veronica help y’all with GiGi” I pull the walkie-talkie from my tights.

Shara takes the walkie and drops my hair. I sit in the chair next to me. Shara gets the kids out of the bathroom and I hear a bang. I’m not even worried because I know that’s GiGi banging the toys on the table.

“You okay?” Jessica asks. She’s from the room right next to ours.

I nod my head. Maybe I do need to take that pregnancy test. But if I am pregnant, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t afford to take care of a baby by myself and I can’t afford an abortion right now. Also, I wouldn’t be able to get to Massiah because he ain’t been seen in two months. I mean I could ask Elijah’s grandma, but then she’s going to ask why. If I asked Quan, I know he’s not going to tell me anything. I don’t know what to do…

⇟

The classroom door opens and I look up from my phone. Kieth walks inside with a bag. Yay, my food is here. Yes, I’m still at work. It passed a few minutes after I threw up. I feel fine right now like I didn’t just throw up water.

“Y’all fake as hell. Always ordering food and don’t tell me. Ima start eating y’all shit” Kieth mumbles.

Illoni stands up, “Just like you only be getting Dream breakfast. We even.”

“Just ask her on a date already” Shara lays Theo on the mat.

“Why this gotta be about me?”

“Cause he gets you breakfast every morning and if it ain’t that, he gets you lunch when you don’t have it” Illoni looks back at me. “We like to eat too.”

Okay, that’s fair because it’s true. The three of us love to eat, but Kieth literally only buys me food. That ain’t right, but at least I share some of my food. Sometimes I order a little extra because I know he not gone ask them. At least im getting extra for them, right.? Thought that matters.?

Kieth holds his hands up, “Don’t jump me.”

I roll my eyes and sit up a little, forgetting that Antwon is lying his head on my stomach. He pushes his head into my stomach. A sharp pain goes through my body. More like straight through my stomach. I bite down on my bottom lip and gently push his head down to my legs. He sits up with his eyes still closed and collapses on the mat.

I sit up completely and cross my legs. As I look up at Kieth, he walks up to me with my food. Kieth is really the sweetest because he’s always making sure I’m eating and mentally okay.

“Thank you” I smile.

“No problem, beautiful” he sets my food in front of me, on the mat. “You sure you okay though? You not sick or nothing?”

“Yeah, it’s probably something I ate last night”

“Janiya watching the front, so ima chill in here for a bit” he sits in front of me.

“You sure Shawn ain’t gone say nothing? You know her ass find the smallest things to complain about” I push my hair behind my ear.

“She thinks I’m on lunch” he licks his lips.

I nod my head and open the container. We got Mambo’s and I’m about to tear this shit up. I’m starving right now and I know this about to hit.

“What time is it?” Illoni asks.

I glance at my watch, “1:45”

It’s 1:43 PM, so close enough. We wake the kids up from nap at 2 PM. We usually don’t wait this late to eat something, but the kids had us running around all day.

“Y’all better hurry up and eat. You know y’all kids like to eat” Kieth chuckles.

He’s not lying. Our kids always eating off my plate or eating my snacks. For some reason, they only want my food though. Illoni thinks I spoil them, but I don’t give it to them unless they ask the right way. Although I work with kids with autism, you’d think some of them were typical kids.

I’ve been working at this place for a year. I started out only doing after care with the preschoolers. When I graduated, they asked me if I wanted to join the preschool team and I said yeah. The only thing is, I have to take night and online classes for school. I’m okay with that though.

⇟ Fifteen Minutes Later

I lick my fingers and look at Elijah from the corner of my eye. He sits up and stares at me. I stare at him, slowly closing my plate.

“Morning” he rubs his eyes.

“Morning bestie” I reach over Antwon, pushing my plate onto the table.

Antwon is still lying on my legs. He’s my other favorite kid. I really shouldn’t have favorites, but I do.

“I want some” Elijah slowly tilts his head, leaning over a little.

“We’re going to eat snack in a little. You ready to go to the bathroom?”

“No, I want that” he points to my plate.

“You don’t even know what it is, relax” I scratch the side of my nose.

I pull Antwons blanket off him. He curls up and pushes his head against my lower stomach. I run my hand through his hair and down his neck. He pushes my hand away and covers his ear. He knows I’m going to touch his ear next. I wake him up the same way every day.

“Wake up silly” I shake my leg.

After getting all the kids up, I took them to the bathroom one by one to change their diapers, pull up, or sit them on the toilet. Out of the thirteen kids we have, only ten of them are here and five of those ten are potty trained. Elijah is currently being potty trained because he’s been trying to sit on the toilet with me.

“Dreamy” Camila whines. “Loni ye-“

I glance over my shoulder and Camila is holding the bathroom door open. She starts stumbling over her words making it hard to understand her. This girl cries over the smallest things ever. She’s another one of my favorites.

“Camila, go sit on the carpet,” I say, helping Elijah pull his pants up.

“But I don’t want to” she whines.

“Shara come get Cami and bring AJ” I shout so she can hear me.

I back away from Elijah and he wobbles by to the sink. Not even a second later, AJ runs into the bathroom.

“Ms- Ms. Dreamy” AJ smiles a big smile. “Hi”

“Hi AJ” I smile. This boy says hi to me every second of the day, but I love it. Makes me feel missed.

Just wish my own father missed me. We’ve never had the best relationship. Well, not since he got arrested when I was 12. I’m 19 and I haven’t heard from him since my 16th birthday. I used to send letters all the time, but I gave up a little after I turned 17. My mom made me realize that he would reach out if he really wanted to talk to me. I guess things just changed when my mother decided to get a divorce from him. Meaning I was no longer a priority to him.

My mom has been seeing this guy for a few months now and I’m kind of happy she ended things with my dad. She spent three years of being loyal to someone who has a 10-year sentence. I wouldn’t do it. Mainly because I don’t see myself with anyone that’ll ever get arrested.

I just want someone who cares for me and never puts me in situations my dad put my mom in. For instance, my mom got shot behind him and I got kidnapped when I was 2. My mom got shut out by my grandmother because of my dad. To this day I’ve never met her. It’s almost like she hates me because of who my father is.