Chapter Nine

I tried, damn me, I tried.

I approached a man who’d been eyeing me, lifting his glass to indicate he wanted to buy me a drink. Cute enough, I supposed; a tad young for me, but he was willing.

I accepted the drink—a mixed alcohol concoction I watched the bartender craft from start to finish—took two sips, grew bored. This guy—Wall Street trader or something, I didn’t remember—didn’t appeal to me at all.

I moved on to the next. A woman, with the same golden hair as Eden, the same green eyes, but hers were sharper. And her voice was…different. Darker, sexy in its depth.

It wasn’t soft and airy like Eden’s.

Pass.

My next potential conquest I wasn’t sure of the gender, and I meant to ask what pronouns they used when someone knocked into me, causing me to spill my second drink all over my shoes.

My Dolce shoes, this time. Ruined—and Dolce didn’t owe me any favors.

My heart raced in my chest, nonetheless. Was it her? Had she spotted me and decided to approach me in the same manner as the night we met? Was this her idea of a second meet-cute?

I was pissed about my shoes, but the anticipation growing inside me made me forget, for an instant. I’d forgive her, if she’d done it. All she’d need to do was grovel a little, and—

My face dropped as I spun to see the person who’d slammed into me.

It wasn’t her. It was someone who’d been on the dancefloor; they didn’t even know they’d pushed me as they danced and made me drop my beverage.

They didn’t care.

“Excuse me,” I said to the person I’d been talking to—someone I might have had a connection with—and scurried along to the bathrooms to check the damage.

My shoes were soaked. My shirt, my jacket—thankfully intact.

But my mood? Destroyed.

No way would I bother hanging out here for another minute knowing Eden wasn’t there.

I wanted to be where Eden was.

Where Eden was.

I knew where she lived, and that was where she’d be. It was late—one, two am, maybe?—and I was inebriated enough to pass this off as a drunken mistake…

I exited the bar, and Pete waited for me downstairs, yawning as he turned on the engine. “Home, then?” he asked, checking the rear-view mirror as I settled in the backseat.

Of course, the correct answer was yes, Pete, take me home. Of course, the appropriate action to take was to ignore my urges, pretend like the voice screaming in my head didn’t exist.

But it screamed for Eden. It had been screaming for Eden for too long now and ignoring it had only made the problem worse. The problem being that I…

I missed her. I missed how she unknowingly hummed while she worked on my hectic schedule. How she tried so hard to avoid eye-contact or physical contact with me, when it was evident she wanted nothing more than to plunge into my gaze and get her hands all over my body.

I missed how she spoke, fast-paced and high-pitched, more so when she was nervous. Fuck, I missed her being nervous, jittery in front of me, as if I were some goddess come to grant her every naughty wish.

I missed her naughtiness. That lesser-known side of her. Did her friends know how filthy she was with me? How she spread me wide and devoured me whole? Did they know that—

“Silver?” Pete’s voice brought me back to reality with a crashing halt. “Where to?”

It was wrong. Terribly wrong. Stupidly wrong.

But I knew before I even said it that there’d be no way to stop myself. “Eden’s place.”

Pete arched an eyebrow, eyeing me in the rearview mirror. “Eden’s place?” He cleared his throat. “Are you sure?”

He was looking out for me. I hadn’t spoken to him about the article, but he’d read it. Gigi would have updated him on the juicy details—they were friends and gossiped together, though they thought I wasn’t aware.

No, I’m not sure, is what I should have said.

Instead, what came out of my mouth: “Yes, I’m sure, so take me there before I jump out of this car and call a cab.”

Pete took off without another word, but I caught him watching me a few times as we journeyed through late-night New York City. He groaned as we passed littered sidewalks with twenty-somethings screaming into their phones.

He wanted to say something, but he wouldn’t. Were it Gigi driving, she’d have dared at least another are you sure? but not Pete. Pete was discreet and only guaranteed my safe excursions around the city.

At the curb in front of Eden’s building, I gritted my teeth. It was a worn-down place, old and dingy looking, yet secure enough, I supposed. There was a coded door and five or six stories, and I winced as I set my hand on the door handle.

“Uh…do you know the code to get in?” My spontaneity didn’t account for how to get to Eden. “And, um…the apartment number?”

Pete would say no. Why would he have that much information? It was Yanic I needed to talk to, but at this hour he’d either be deep into his partner’s mouth, or sound asleep after imbibing in a few cocktails at his local haunt.

And even if he were awake, he’d refuse to give me the details. He’d prevent me from making this dumb, dumb mistake.

Where was my security team? They’d given me far too much freedom, and I kind of wished they’d show up to stop me from doing this.

“Five-nine-eight-two,” said Pete, fidgeting in his seat. “Second floor, apartment fifteen.”

I wouldn’t question his knowledge—I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

“Thanks,” I said, grabbing my purse, opening it to find my compact powder and mirror. My reflection showed only a sheen of perspiration over my forehead; otherwise, my makeup and complexion were intact.

“Should I…wait?” Pete turned around, one hand gripping the wheel. “How long will this take?”

I wasn’t positive Eden would even open the door. She’d be sleeping. Or out with friends. Or…she’d ask me to leave because I wasn’t supposed to be there.

But I’d take the risk. I had to see her, be with her, hold her, kiss her. I craved her so badly I doubted I’d be able to sleep again until I got a taste. A tiny one, a swipe of my tongue over her lips—it’d have to suffice.

“Don’t wait,” I said, getting out of the car after putting my compact back into my purse.

Bless him, he didn’t pester me any further. As I approached the keypad to enter the code, I heard him reignite the engine and take off.

This was it. This was the make-or-break moment, the thrill I’d been chasing all night. All week. No amount of booze or masturbation could compete with this—seeing Eden in person, touching her, sampling her aroma.

I made it all the way to her apartment, knuckles raised to knock, when the door whooshed open on its own accord.

I gasped—there stood Eden in all her nighttime glory, in a long nightgown with a silky fabric so thin, I could trace every outline of her body underneath. Her hardened nipples pressed against the material as she scowled at me.

“Silver?” She hissed. “What are you doing here?” Despite her obvious frustration, she grabbed my wrist and yanked me into her darkened apartment.

More like a studio, I supposed—I could tell the room wasn’t large, clustered with things hanging on walls and potted plants and a fresh scent of lavender and mint.

“What do you mean?” Much as her grip was startlingly strong, I didn’t want her to let go. I glared at her, though in this dimmed lighting she probably wouldn’t see. “You opened the door before I knocked. Did you know I was coming?”

I knew before she confirmed it—Pete.

“Gigi texted me,” she said, folding her arms in an attempt to cover herself up. It was too late; I’d sighted her breasts nearly on full display, and as she stood in the moonlight pouring in from her window, I further imagined everything under her nightgown. “Pete told her you asked to come here.”

“You were awake?” I entered further into the room, a whiff of cheap pizza and red wine filtering into my nostrils.

Sure enough, an empty pizza box resided on a nearby counter, next to an also empty bottle of three-dollar red. Eden hurried to slide in front of the counter to hide them, but I’d seen what I needed to see.

She’d been drinking, too.

“No, but I fell asleep holding my phone, so when it buzzed, it woke me up.”

My eyesight adjusted somewhat to the darkness, and I saw her better. Face washed, devoid of makeup, skin glowing and gorgeous. Her lips were parted, and gentle goosebumps ran up and down her arms as she stared at me.

“What are you doing here?” she repeated, trying for a sterner timbre, though all it did was make me smile. “Hey, stop that!” She growled; I smiled wider. “Silver, explain yourself!”

“I was out partying, and I…” I let go of my purse, that I hadn’t realized I’d been clutching tight to my stomach. The sight of her so vulnerable, so close to naked, unsettled me. “I missed you.”

I noticed the quick shift in her features—an inkling of her lips quirking into a smile, before she forced herself into a grimace. “You missed me? You’re not supposed to miss me, Silver.”

“Well, I do.” I took a step forward, watching to see if she’d flinch or back away; she didn’t. She remained in front of the counter, arms loosening slightly from their folded position.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” she said, voice close to a whisper.

“Well, I am,” I said, taking another step. Still, she didn’t move.

“Why?” she whispered this time, her arms dropping to her sides.

“Like I said,” I inched closer, “I missed you.”

“You were out drinking, and you missed me?” She gulped. “And on a whim, you…you’re here? To…tell me you missed me?”

I couldn’t make out her tone; mad, stressed, concealing her excitement?

“Is that a problem?” I cocked my head, absorbing every inch of her figure as I neared her, only a few paces separating us. While her studio was small, it seemed her entryway and kitchen were never-ending.

“You could have texted me,” she muttered, lowering her chin. She must have remembered she was exposed, because she hurried to cross her arms again, hiding her bosom. “Not that you’re supposed to do that, either, but…I need to sleep, Silver.”

I glanced about the room and spotted her bed, off to the side, the covers pushed aside. “Then go. I’m not stopping you.”

She scoffed. “Oh, so you can watch me sleep? Hell no. I don’t trust you.”

I scoffed right back. “You don’t trust me? What do you think I’d do?”

“Silver, I have an interview in the morning, and it’s super important, and you showing up now could fuck things up for me, and—”

“Answer my question, Eden.” Her name was sweet on my tongue, her velvety, powdery fresh scent captivating me, drawing me even closer. An arm’s length kept us apart.

“Wh-what…what do I think you’d do while I was sleeping?”

“Yes.” I quit my approach, much as I wanted to continue until I crashed into her. “What do you think I’d do?”

She swallowed, her gaze roving from my chin to my ankles, slowing as she took in my breasts, my center, all covered up by my snazzy suit. “You’d…lick your lips.”

“Oh?” I let out a small giggle. “Why would I lick my lips?”

“Because.” She swallowed again. “You’d want to…do things to me.”

God, I was so desperate to snag her by the waist and press her against me. “Do things? What things?”

She chewed on her lower lip; she’d be the death of me. “Things. Naked things.”

“Ah, so you think I’d want to undress you?”

Fuck, yes, I did want to undress her. Not slow and soft like she was likely imagining, though; I wanted to rip that nightgown off her and lather her with my tongue from neck to navel.

“I…yeah, I think you would.” She lowered her arms, chewing harder on her lip.

“I’d never do that without consent, Eden, you know that.” How I yearned to move the stray hair that had fallen over her face, tuck it behind her ear, sense her skin against my fingers.

“I do,” she breathed in deeply, then out, “but…”

“But what?” I was curious. “What would you do? Consent?”

“You know I’d consent, Silver.” She puffed up her cheeks and blew out a harsher breath. “But we’re supposed to be moving on, focusing on our healing, and…”

“And what?” I strode backward.

No, this wasn’t right. Showing up at her place like this, in the middle of the night, surprising her, coaxing her into this—that went against what I’d mentioned about consent.

She was delectable, a treat I’d never not crave; but not like this.

“And you know I can’t fucking resist you,” she blurted out, her entire body seeming to cave in, to crumble forward. Like she was done holding up her defenses and ready to give up, succumb to me.

“You can’t?” I smirked, still keeping a slight distance.

She snorted, a smile tickling at her lips. “Silver. Come on. Be for real.” She shook her head. “If you hadn’t showed up here tonight, it was a matter of time before I showed up at your penthouse.”

I paused, caught off guard. “Really?” That wasn’t like her; she wasn’t spontaneous and stupid like me.

Then I realized—had she shown up, I would have let her in, too. Woozy or half-asleep, it wouldn’t have mattered. She had my permanent consent, forever, for anything she wanted to do to me.

Was it the same for her? Would she never deny me, never even want to?

“Really.” She shrugged and made a face like a little girl pouting. “I’ve talked myself out of it like fifteen times, but the desire is there.”

Desire.

“I wanted to see you. After all that…and then the interview tomorrow…I’m stressed. You calm me down, and I thought you’d—” She flinched, and her hands formed fists at her sides. “I thought you’d do things to me that would change my mood, my mindset.”

She had no idea she was feeding into my hand. No idea I’d come here for the same reason. That being with her, the sex, the cuddling, the kissing—it all tamed my insecurities and brought well-needed warmth to my life.

I wouldn’t tell her. I had to maintain some mystery. If I confessed that I felt the same way, then…we’d be fucked. The feelings we sought to repress would come back tenfold, and there’d be another scandal in the press…

“And what things would you like me to do?” I stepped forward again.

This time, Eden took a step of her own in my direction. “I don’t know…stuff.”

I chuckled; why was she being shy with me? I’d seen her bared, wonderfully revealed. Unless this was some kind of bit and she expected me to play along.

“What sort of stuff?” Another step; she matched my pace with one of her own. “Sweet stuff? Kind stuff? Dirty stuff?”

“Dirty,” she said so fast she practically cut me off. “Uh, I mean—” Even in the obscurity I caught her cheeks flaming, her eyes widening.

“Don’t deny it,” I said, my voice growing raspy, my desire on the cusp of overflowing. “It’s okay to want the dirtiness, Eden.”

She was so close now that her body’s heat wafted around me, wrapping me in its embrace. The tips of her toes were against my shoes. Her lips were within reach, those perky, perfect breasts begging to be touched.

“I want the dirtiness, Silver,” she said, barely audible through her loud, lustful breaths. “What will you do if I want the dirtiness?” She licked her lips, gazing into my décolleté.

I grabbed her, at last, by the ass, bringing our bodies to collide into one another.

She gasped at the suddenness but didn’t pull away. Instead, a grin spread over her lips as she slowly melted into me.

“I’ll do everything to you, Eden. Everything you want, for as long as you want. Everything.”